wither in the light

Last night I watched 'Fearless', and it was great... because I stopped the film two minutes before the nominal ending, where the film would have ended had they not dumbed it down for an American audience. While seeing how deftly they managed to completely fuck up and negate the previous two hours of storyline in those last two minutes is educational, it's not very entertaining. I'm going to rip the DVD, edit out the final scene, and make my own director's cut of the film so I don't need to be so quick with the remote.

This got me thinking about time, and what I'd being doing with it if I had more directorial control over my life. I feel like I am in a variable time stasis field... weeks will go by in a blink, and then a night will last forever. I'm somewhat torn about this site... it's my primary interface to the world, 'putting myself out there' as it were, and I've met some Good People who were kind enough to tolerate my rants. I haven't actually decided yet, but I think it might be time to put this blog to rest. But it's one thing, knowing when to stop, and another thing entirely knowing what to do with my time after I have stopped. Time will tell.

This kind of sums up the dread I've been feeling the last few days:

TODAY the Pentagon will hold the America Supports You Freedom Walk, ostensibly to commemorate the victims of the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, and to show support for members of the armed forces. Nothing could be better contrived to show the high price Americans have paid since that day of infamy.

The Freedom Walk is limited to those who register and submit to being searched. The route of the march will be fenced and lined with police officers. No one can join the march en route. No one can leave it. The press cannot walk along the route. The walk to proclaim Americans' freedom reveals how much freedom we have lost.

This ill-conceived event is but a symbol of larger losses: The Patriot Act reduces Americans' protection from government scrutiny. The U.S. invasion of Iraq, falsely predicated on a hazy connection between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaida, has cost almost as many U.S. lives as the terrorist attacks of 9/11, with no end in sight. Whereas most of the world sympathized with Americans in the weeks following 9/11, the nation is now less admired than communist-ruled China.

People dying all over the place and this administration just keeps pretending everything is peachy. I'm not sure who I hate more, Bush or the legions of fuckheads that still support this bullshit.

We're back in 'civilization' now, though it only took one look at the news to make me feel like heading back to the desert... it seems like everything is Horribly Wrong. I'm disgusted by the way our government has handled the New Orleans disaster. Too disgusted to even think clearly about it right now.

Burning Man was the best yet, mostly because we had Good People in our camp, and met more out and about. We camped our way home again, stopping at hot springs and cold rivers, taking our time. We're already developing our evil plans for next year's burn.

We're visiting the folks tonight, heading up to Portland in the morning... I should be back to my regularly posting self in the near future.