Friday, May 20, 2005

US brings freedom to communist lake

When fishermen from the Russian village of Bolotnikovo went to work yesterday, they found a muddy hole where their lake was supposed to be.

Officials in Nizhegorodskaya region, on the Volga river east of Moscow, said water in the lake might have been sucked down into an underground water-course or cave system, but some villagers had more sinister explanations.

"I am thinking, well, America has finally got to us," said one old woman, as she sat on the ground outside her house.

On behalf of my fellow Imperialist lake-stealing swine I'd like to welcome this Russian lake into our coalition of the absurd and apologize to the people of Bolotnikovo Elbonia.