Saturday, February 19, 2005

initial observations on a gluten-free diet

  1. Now that I'm on this funky diet everything I want to eat consists almost entirely of glutens, sugars, and/or fat. Mmm... donuts. No pizza? Wtf? How the hell am I expected to live without pizza?

  2. Cardboard has several distinct nutritional and aesthetic advantages compared to the gluten-free breads I can get at the hippie store.

  3. Maybe I'll make a pizza on cardboard. Or order a pizza and ask them to hold the crust.

  4. Actually I shouldn't be eating tomatoes either. Or potatoes. Turns out they are mildly poisonous members of the nightshade family. Fuckers.

  5. I'd already stopped eating most dairy products, but I'd found these nice Boca soy-cheese pizzas. That I now can't eat because the wheat crust and tomato sauce might be contributing to my general unwell-being.

  6. If I had some ideology I was really attached to, I could just say this is a hunger strike. I'd demand better treatment for prisoners. And pizzas.


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