Saturday, February 19, 2005
- Now that I'm on this funky diet everything I want to eat consists almost entirely of glutens, sugars, and/or fat. Mmm... donuts. No pizza? Wtf? How the hell am I expected to live without pizza?
- Cardboard has several distinct nutritional and aesthetic advantages compared to the gluten-free breads I can get at the hippie store.
- Maybe I'll make a pizza on cardboard. Or order a pizza and ask them to hold the crust.
- Actually I shouldn't be eating tomatoes either. Or potatoes. Turns out they are mildly poisonous members of the nightshade family. Fuckers.
- I'd already stopped eating most dairy products, but I'd found these nice Boca soy-cheese pizzas. That I now can't eat because the wheat crust and tomato sauce might be contributing to my general unwell-being.
- If I had some ideology I was really attached to, I could just say this is a hunger strike. I'd demand better treatment for prisoners. And pizzas.