Monday, January 10, 2005

we all shine on

Darwin Award runner-up Eddie May figures he must have good karma: while simultaneously driving and eating, he choked so bad he passed out and totaled his truck in a head-on collision with a semi... and the impact caused him to cough up the Big Mac Of Death. (You laugh now, but you might recall that the idiot in the White House damn near killed himself with a pretzel a while back.)

Eight-ball Magazine chimes in on the karma issue:

There's something to be said for the karmic wheel. To Hindus, hippies, and "Dharma and Greg" fans, the karmic wheel is a finely tuned instrument of balance, harmony, and reward. Do a good deed, turn one notch to the right. Get your rocks off with the neighbor's cat, take a few hits to the left. By the time you kick out, the position of the ole karmic wheel determines whether you're rewarded or punished. Heaven or hell, come back as a cow or a cockroach, that sort of thing.

I don't think that's how it works.

My guess is that the Karmic Wheel is actually one giant fucking bicycle tire, and your head is stuck in the spokes.

I've never understood the math in these sorts of situations: the guy almost died, wrecked his vehicle, yet feels lucky because he survived. It seems to me it would be more lucky to have not almost died, and not wrecked his truck, and ummm... have... some chocolate... or something.