wither in the light

When I see white-bread Americans who wouldn't know a non-English word if it bit them on the ass yet have complex Asian ideograms indelibly tattooed on their skin, I always assume the tattoo says something like one of these:

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will starve before mastering the skill, thus saving you today's delicious fish.

A door without handles is merely a wall. Or a hole. Or a weird window.

A slave with no master is free, but a master with no slave is lazy and bitter, with a soft, oily body and bad hair, complaining to the dog, who could not care less.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever and yet appears much wiser than he who asked five minutes ago.

[via McSweeney's]