Thursday, February 12, 2004

suspicious minds

The CIA, I kid you not, has put up a handy secure online form for their "Iraqi Awards Program". Now the search for Weapons of Mass Destruction can bring you ca$h and prizes!!! If you know something the highest funded black ops organization in the world doesn't, go fill out their little form and help them make the world safe... or something.

They would also like to know where the bad guys are, where some of our missing guys are, and where you can get a good pizza in Tikrit.

Actually, compared to the FBI, the CIA's approach to world domination is fairly passive. But then again, the FBI is closer to home, so they get to ride the wave of fear that holds America together nowadays. Like when someone saw Marc Schultz, a bearded man that looks like he could be vaguely sort of middle-eastern-ish, reading an article titled "Weapons of Mass Stupidity" in the line at Starshmucks... and reported his ass to the FBI as a possible terrorist. Ironically enough, if you are still capable of discerning irony in these absurd times, the article was about how the media has hyped the average dumbass American into a state of abject sphincter-clenching fear and paranoia.