Saturday, January 03, 2004

Obey Broog

Ever wonder what aliens would think if they saw our movies? Now you can find out: Broog, alien film critic.


...Broog will not seek to interpret this film on your behalf, but he will come round to your feeble dwelling and sow your fields with salt, stampede your tiny offspring, and wear your housepets as slippers if you do not avail yourself of the opportunity to see the movie. Rarely would Broog say that a cinematic offering from your miserable world is fit for export to his home planet, but this picture is a noble exception.

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

The mighty cinematic edifice which is the human Jackson's rendering of Tolkien's classic novel grinds to its imperial conclusion in the third film, "Lord of the Rings: The Fat Jolly Hobbit Saves Middle Earth And Everyone Is Nice To His Whiny Friend". The movie follows the exploits of Sam as he hauls his limp and apparently pointless companion across the dark desolation of Mordor, struggling against hunger, despair, orcs, giant spiders, Gollum, and what must surely be an overpowering desire to slap Frodo until he resembles a hubcap.